I’ve always thought that if you are going to write something, you should write something that someone would want to read. Not being a reader myself, I’m not sure how I would know what that special “something”  is that people would want to read about. I don’t think prolific thoughts. I don’t have ideas of grandeur. I don’t even use proper grammar, and my spelling is hopefully caught by the spell check.  See what I did there?

     A goal of mine in is to write down my thoughts so that I can get a grip on my life and get my crap together. Speaking of crap, I’m not sure who coined the term “get your crap together”, as if having all of your crap in one big pile is far superior than having crap all over the place. But it is what it is.  Moving on.

     A few things you should know about me before this online journey of embarrassment and humility gets under way: I’m new to the 30′s crowd, my 3 children think I’m a dork  (if dork still means what I think it means and not just a whale’s penis), I pretend to be a musician. I say, “pretend” because I don’t have any albums out or have anyone that I actually play music with currently. After 12 years of marriage, I am divorced. If you are good at math like many people who are not me, that means I got married at 18. Don’t ever do that by the way! Tell your kids, they’ll listen to you. I promise.

     As of November 1st 2011, I weighed in at 302 lbs and I was pretty good at holding the sofa down in case we would lose gravity in the house. But I’m sitting on a much slender version of 234lbs at the writing of this blog. Man I miss fried chicken. Moving on.

     In the upcoming blogs we’ll talk about my life, how it can affect your’s, I’ll try to figure out what a blog actually is, and why in the hell are you still reading this?